Parallel Universe

I find myself in a parallel universe with my high school student clients lately, being forced to accept a dose of my own medicated advice...a healthy balance sometimes requires the word no. It is easy to find students who are on the go from 6:30am until well past midnight every day of the week. Between classes and homework, sports practice or theater rehearsals, club commitments, church activities, part-time jobs, and spending critical time with family, not to mention social needs and friendships, it is no wonder students are unable to complete all of their responsibilities. And often, successful submission of one assignment or accomplishment of a particular task is at the expense of the quality of another if it happens at all. Many students today feel like they have to do everything, and do it perfectly, or face the shame of what they perceive as imperfection or appearing unsuccessful, especially in preparation for collegiate applications for admission. As I type this, I am reminded of the time lapse that has occurred since I last drafted a blog entry, faulting on my own goal of writing at least three times a month. While I write, my desk is scattered with file folders, sticky notes, and unorganized printed documents, all of which are projects I am trying to manage concurrently.and none of which are completed. Should I even mention the 7 piles of paper that are "neatly" stacked in small sections on the carpet behind my office chair? My sleep patterns have been disturbed by the inability to complete my "to do" list during the day, no matter how many hours I work, causing my brain to continuously show a movie of all that is being moved from today to tomorrow, which inevitably, will force some of tomorrow's action items onto the next day's list. A recent bad habit of bringing my BlackBerry to bed with me keeps me "connected" well past healthy waking hours. When I force myself out of bed in the morning, I already feel behind the proverbial eight ball, before my day has even begun, sometimes eliciting the question of why I should even bother trying. "Do you have time to..." and "We are looking for volunteers who can..." or "You are so great at this, can you just give it a few minutes of attention?" Mix these seemingly simple questions with the need to do more in order to be more, occasional feelings of inadequacy in a changing environment, the burden of perceived expectation, and a lifelong desire to do one's best at all times and the results can be detrimental to a person's emotional and physical well being. I have met too many students who match this list of criteria and I can now count myself among the casulties of these same situations. I tell my clients to seek opportunities with purpose and to make wise choices with available time. Here I sit, realizing I must listen to what I say and do what I mean. Education is a lifelong process and I'm blessed to have the chance to interact with students who remind me what is important in life, how to correctly define success, and when to healthily be able to say no sometimes. This medication doesn't taste too good, but it is exactly what I needed. Balance is required for students, as much as it is necessary for professional adults, and sometimes that means having the courage to say no.